Ezekial Clay

One morning in 1861, Ann Clay, wife of pro-Union Kentucky legislator Brutus Junius Clay, found her stepson's bed empty but for this note stating that he had gone to join the Confederate army:

September 24, 1861

B.J. Clay and family,

I leave for the army tonight. I do it for I believe I am doing right. I go of my own free will. If it turns out I do wrong I beg forgiveness.

Goodbye to you all. You will hear from me soon.
E.F. Clay (Zeke)

Ann Clay

After reading the note above, Ann wrote the following letter to her husband.

Bourbon, Wednesday night

My Dear Husband:

I feel that the only relief to my sad feeling tonight will be to write you. I suppose you have received Mr. Scott's letter saying Zeke had gone off last night to join the secession army. On Monday Aunt Holloway, Cyrus Miller, and Jimmy Miller came here, the two former on their way to Illinois. Yesterday Dudley, Zeke and Jimmy went to town and to see Judge Bedford, came back, sat through supper and then went to the office. At bedtime Jimmy came in the house. I asked him where Zeke was. Said he would be in in a few moments, and as it was bed time they were soon asked to their beds upstairs, and Zeke did not make his appearance. The morning Isham went around for him to come to his breakfast. Said he was not there, he had slept in his bed and he expected he had gone coon hunting this morning. Jimmy said yes that Judge had asked him to go hunting with him this morning but that Zeke remarked he could not leave him, so we ate our breakfast and concluded he had gone hunting, and directly after breakfast we went to town as Aunt Holloway wanted to see the Hickmans and some friends before she left today for Illinois, and I thought no more of Zeke till I went to the depot and Scott told me he had gone last night. I remarked that I did not believe it, but if he had, he had disgraced himself. He told me Judge Bedford and Wash Clay had gone with Zeke and that Volney Bedford knew all about it. I felt so provoked I determined to come by there and give him a piece of my mind. I remarked to Mr. Bedford that I had heard he knew of it, but I did not believe it, that if he was a friend, as I supposed he was, that he would have sent me word so that I could have written to you. He looked confused and evaded it. I asked him the second time if he knew anything about it. He remarked Judge had not confided in him and he supposed I knew as much about it as he did. I told him I felt that he and all that had gone ith him had disgraced themselves and that I hoped that they would be arrested and kept in jail, which speech I was severely reproved for. I told them I hoped they that had induced a boy to take sides against a father who had left everything in his charge whilst he was away striving and exerting himself to do all he could for his state would suffer for it. Cousin Margaret Bedford was there and I never heard anything so violent as she and Volney Bedford were against every one who were in favor of these camps and said no one had brought on the trouble here but them and they had destroyed the neutrality of the State, etc. etc. I told them I only regretted we had not had 10 times as many all the time and then we would be better provided for the traitors. So I left them making a more violent speech. I believe they are all violent secessionists and I do not wish to see anything more of them. Last week in town I heard that Zeke had joined a secession company and they had promised him some office. I told him of it and he denied it and said he would die or find out who told me, so I concluded there was no use in troubling you with it ... and I did not believe it till I came home this evening and Cash had found a note in his room, directed to you and the family....

Zeke rode his brown mare, took a comfort and blankets off his bed, your Sharp's rifle and a few shirts. Ever since you wrote to me about his having his guns ready, he has been busy making cartridges and I gave him the credit of making them for you, but Cash tells me he did not leave a load of powder on the place. He will go to town in the morning to get some, do not be uneasy about us at home. I do not feel afraid and do not suppose I will be troubled. Sidney and Mr. Hawkins both have offered to stay or attend to anything that is necessary.... I have been very particular about the doors and have always had the windows down as I did not consider the shutters secure. James Miller lied to us and knew all about it, and Mr. Bedford thought he was going with them. Aunt Holloway was hurried off by the troubles in Ky. Mrs. Deingham went to Frankfort today so I suppose Mrs. Tubman came. Do try and get to see them.... Cash is about well. My love to you, Ma and Sally

Yrs. devotedly

Ann M. Clay

Voices from the Century Before: The Odyssey of a 19th Century Kentucky Family
Edited by Mary Clay Berry
Arcade Publishing, New York, 1997